||meh, fair i guess.
Finally I got my anti-depressents. I was off of them for a month or two. I went off of them because they were too weak, so they took me off of them for while so it leaves my system, and thus allows me to have something new and improved. Im feeling a little btter, this is the best I've felt in the past two months (even though its not even that good, its just... close to feeling alright. boo hoo poor me).
The Orgy concert was amazing. Now I will probabley be transfering schools from Glenelg High School to Riverhill High. I do, and don't want to. I do because its a fresh start, new people. I don't because of the same reason, and I don't beacause I'll miss Glenelg and all the people I know there. I dont want to leave those people, you know, friends who you're friends with, but just not enough to hang out often.
Love sucks, and I have a weak spot. Sometimes I start feeling for her, I try killing and cutting it off, sometimes it doesnt work. It doesnt make sense, I can control my emotion but those times i just dont want to stop. Now and then, thats what happens. I think I don't like it.
Recently I've been really lonely.
In a scary way.
I've been secluding myself from everyone and everything around me recently, but then I became weak, tired, hopeless, jelous, depressed and desperate. It's strange. I want to be with them now, lonliness sinks me into self-pity. It makes me feel broken hearted. To the point of which I did not even want to control my emotion. I know I can, you know I can, but I didn't want to, I wanted to be sad, I wanted someone else make me happy. I wanted that messiah, that savior that person who comes and saves you from yourself. It's that pathetic phase that we all fall into every now and then. I think I'm leaving that phase, I'm trying to make plans to hang out with friends, and these happy-pills (anti-depressants) are contributing to my will power, interest, and energy. Slowly, faintly, but they are.
I hope I can go to Record and tape traders tomorrow after guitar lessons, I want to buy Iron and Wine but the westminister store doesnt have it.
So I'm thinking maybe Broken Spindles - Fulfilled/Complete, or maybe Bright Eyes - Story is in the soil EP, or the Bright Eyes cd with the mirror thing on it, whatver its called. I also wanted to get Black Wave Arcade by The Faint, or Cursive's Domestica.
You know, I also want to get Dr.Dre's chronic, and chronic 2001, and eminem's Marshall Mathers LP (great CD, and mine is scratched) or Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals, or Portrait of an American Family.
I also want to get some stuff by the Pixies, Team Sleep..I want the Death Cab for Cutie CD, i listend to it, its pretty cool if you like indie-ish stuff.
Oh, I need Silverchair's Neon Ballroom. I need Radiohead's Kid A, and OK computer (i lost mine!). I want Belle and Sebastian's Boy with an Arab strap.
You know, I want a Son, Ambulance CD, theyre pretty cool, oh, and some Sigur Ros too.
I need to get Hate Crew Deathroll by Children of Bodom, it's been a while since I got any Death Metal, hehe.
I want to check out Echo and The Bunnymen, I have one of their songs which was in the movie Donnie Darko, its called "The killing moon" and its really cool. Theyre almost like Blue Oyster Cult but not really.
I've lost my White Pony and Adrennaline from the Deftones, I need to get them again sometime, but I'm not in a rush for them (no offense deftones, i still heart you).
I need the cure's wish. I've got galore, disintigration, kiss me kiss me kiss me, wild mood swings, boys dont cry, and bloodflowers. Any suggestions besides Wish?
Some fatigue kicking in, I'm going to leave. good'day